When I woke up this morning, clinching my cell phone and sweating profusely, (as I once again opted for a few glasses of red wine versus taking off my flannel sheet set as it is now August and the temperature has been well above the 90’s for the last two months)...what was the first thing I did? Go pee? Brush my teeth? Peer over the side of Charlotte’s crib to make sure she is still sleeping? NO.
None of the above. Instead, I check my facebook.
See the thing is, I said I would never get a phone that had internet. Because if I had internet, I would have unlimited Facebook access...and with unlimited Facebook access come incessant status updates, which leads to massively distracting phone alerts, which directly effects my ability to leave my phone off my person for more than 2 minutes, which in turn enhances my inability to focus my attention on anything other than what EVERYONE IS DOING ON FACEBOOK. Leaving me powerless...and ashamed. This Facebook...this compulsory yet completely useless occupation of my time, this...bane of my existence. And now look at me. BLOGGING.
I attempted to confer with the IT guy at work. The IT guy however, said he could not “sympathize” with my situation…for he chooses NOT to have a Facebook account. Therefore he is completely unaware, his opinion stripped of all relevance and legitimacy because HE is blissfully ignorant of the unrelenting clenches Facebook can posses over one’s existence. Oh to be so unknowing…so ambivalent to the world of social networking. You are lucky IT guy. You are safe…..for now.
That's why you were late for work! Haha. And how do I know? Facebook. I'm with you, woman.
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