Justin Bieber Fever

We marched into Fred Meyer last week on a mission; Operation Find Toddler Halloween Costume had commenced.

I zigzagged through the pitiful racks of costumes, wigs and accessories and to say I was disappointed in the selection is an understatement. Were these last year’s leftovers? I could see it now, after last Halloween came and went, these unsold remnants were shoved into boxes and stacked up in the back of the store, some island of misfit costumes if you will? I was fingering (for some reason I just could not find a better word..) through a 20% rack and realized my two year old had not accidentally ran into me, shouted at me, or knocked something over in a good couple of minutes.

“Charlotte what are you doin,” I yell…and she comes screeching around the corner with a bag of candy in her arms that probably weighed almost as much as she did,

“ Here Mama! Suckers!”

I swipe the bag out of her hand and she yelps, “MAMA, NO,”

“We don’t need all this candy yet Charlotte, okay?”

She puts her hands on her hips ( I am now regretting teaching her this pose…which was originally intended for photo ops only,) and stomps her little left foot, her sparkly Sketchers start lighting up and before I can start bribing her with the bag of candy or a potential cookie, she starts stomping both feet, waving both tiny arms angrily, and before I know it she is jumping up and down, her light-up shoes glittering wildly. She throws herself on the nasty cold Fred Meyer linoleum and after about two or three impressive army rolls, she slumps over on her back still screaming.


  I scoop my tantrum throwing toddler off the floor and make a beeline for the doors, by the time we get to the truck she has jerked my arms to the point that I can barely hold the little stinker anymore. By the time we are out of the parking lot she’s passed out in her cow-print car seat. I look at my dash clock and sure enough it’s a good twenty minutes after her usual sleepy time.

This venture was a completely unsuccessful, Halloween was only a few weeks away and as much as I did NOT want to waste thirty or forty bucks on a costume she will never wear again, she had to have a cute one, right? She HAD to.

My initial intention was to dress her up in some skinny jeans, a t-shirt, some Chuck Taylors and a hat and call her “Justin Bieber”, I thought it was hilarious, my sister thought it was hilarious…but would the local mommies down at the trick-or-treat carnival get it? I decided against the gender-bending idea, I mean she is only two…and opted for a new idea; Minnie Mouse.

I put her in her crib and plopped down on the couch with the laptop. I sign onto Ebay and start bidding away…..