Business Barry

“Its 7:20 Meghan Elizabeth, get out of bed.”


I was sprawled out facedown and pants-less, still wearing one shoe,with a torn bag of Gardetto’s next to my head. I had to be at my desk at work in 25 minutes.

My mother only uses my middle name when she’s pissed off, and she should be…afterall, Lizzie is in town. My mother loves Lizzie and I mean she probably loves her more than she loves me. But, when Lizzie comes to town it always means one thing; party…and my mother doesn’t touch alcohol.

After throwing on some jeans (thank GOD its casual Friday) and a horrendous pale yellow polo shirt, I attempt to mask the smell of booze and cigarettes by dousing myself in Gucci perfume. However as we all know, this method is never successful and now I just smell like flowers, booze and cigarettes. I wash my face and immediately pile on the bronzer and mascara- before ya know it I am in my car with the window rolled down, day dreaming of Egg McMuffins and soy vanilla lattes.

I squeal into the parking lot and see my manager’s car, SHIT. I am well over twenty minutes late and I don’t look like I slept in, I look like a busted Daytona stripper- and I definitely smell like one. I slipped into the office and went directly to the lobby fridge, I need water. A whole hour passes and no one comes up to the front desk and when I finally see my manager she goes right into a spiel about how she attempted to wear a shirt very similar to the one I’m wearing today, but it looked horrible on her so she threw it away on her lunch break…I have apparently gotten away with my tardiness.

Finally around 10:30 someone comes in. His name is Barry and I’m ninety nine percent sure he’s the love of my life. Damnit! The ONE day I don’t look fabulous and Mr.Ex- Military/Woodsman/I’ll build you a log cabin then make babies in it with you, shows up.

“Well hello there,” he says smirking. I clearly must have a shit-eating grin on my face because he lets out a snorty giggle as he leans down on the desk in front of me.

“What can I do for you this lovely morning Mr…..”

“Barry,” he says,

“ I’m Barry and I’m interested in getting my MBA.”

“Well Business Barry, let me go get someone you can talk to. Can I get you something to drink?” I ask.

“ A beer,” he says.

Yep. I’m in love.

After my future ex-husband leaves, I grab my fourth glass of water and finish up my paperwork. It’s going to be a very, very long day…so I Google “ Destination Weddings” Oh, Barry.